Informal and personal information about me.
Being an artist almost requires from me to be sincere in my self-presentation. Being mysterious would probably be much more attractive and safe, but I want you to understand my art better by knowing how I see myself and the world, and what influenced me.
My students are often very open with me, they invite me in their homes and mention personal matters. To match that friendliness, and to make it easier for you to decide whether you want to deal with me, I will try to tell you enough about myself.
My friends can pick here one or another fun fact about me as well, if I have not joked about it already. Observations of entrusted people who had connected the dots for me from a different angle helped me to understand myself many times, and writing about key moments of the past had being interesting as well.
I cannot tell you everything important though, because I need to guard other people's privacy. I also avoid unnecessary details, including possibly most blissful or dreadful, and I try to keep the stories short.
Thank you for your attention!
The short form of my real name is Lena, the only one I use, and
L∃N∀ is my signature art seal. ∃∀- are math signs, which mean "exists"
∃ and "for all"
There was no Unicode character with a line above - logical "not" - for "for all" and the meaning changed from "exist not for all" to almost the opposite, which I find amusing - hope you do too!
My last name means "odd number" in Ukrainian, it is my birth name.
The first 7 defining words (nouns) I could choose for myself should probably be:
- Artist - an abstract fine art painter and portraitist, enchanted by photography and videography. I always knew I will paint, but it took a couple of life-threatening events to make me drop almost everything else and dare to dive into the madness of purposeless creation. I am obsessed with composition and color, have always been.
- Multilingual - I spoke several languages, and this experience made my thinking more independent from grammatical and cultural conditioning. Now I am acceptably fluent only in three natural languages I acquired in this order: Russian (Русский), German (Deutsch), and English. I understand but speak slower in Ukrainian (Українська), my second native. And I have almost entirely forgotten Spanish (Español), in which I was fluent in late childhood while living in Latin America. The need to set my mind free by verbal expression made me a poet at 13.
- Web Developer - I love internet. I was happy with server programming for several years, regarding it as art without emotions. I still enjoy it now and then. I like its clear logical structures, immediate results, and the practical application of math.
- Investor - I started to invest risky and early, as a student, with currencies and commodities, and later transitioned into mid-term stock trading followed by index funds. My degree is in economics, and this is how I used it. Risk-taking gives me thrills, and I need to guard myself from passionate moves. I dislike debt though, and managed to never have had any.
- Fruitarian - long-term, since 18, which suggests a lot about my lifestyle: predominantly fresh fruit-based diet, environmentally-friendly attitude, avoiding buying too much, especially new wooden objects, etc. I ran large online communities, and still minimally maintain the reorganized Fruitarian's Network.
- Humanist - who can criticize the hell out of the current humanist manifesto :) I am a secular person with a deity-independent moral code. At 18, I was baptized Orthodox Christian through a long ceremony in an old monastery upon a kind request of my grandmother. I am a life-long non-theist: agnostic in regard to knowledge and atheist in regard to belief - science and character based. I am simply unwilling to be mentally subordinate. I will protect everyone's rights to believe in anything they want though - for the sake of freedom of mind. I lead the Humanist Fellowship.
- Female - I am a serially monogamous heterosexual woman, who seeks the depth of intellectual and erotic connection with one man. I am rarely physically attracted to anyone, and seldom meet people with whom I see a potential to experience what I want. Nonetheless, mutual love is not only my "drug" of choice: I prioritized it. I am not family-oriented. I do not date casually.
If I would use only a few adjectives to describe myself, I would choose these additional words:
- Happy - most of the time, despite everything. If I am not in a blissful state, it is usually because of actual difficulties in my life. If those are bad enough, which happened many times, I still cannot stay sad for too long, or I soon find ways to force myself out by action or radical change. I started practicing prolonged meditations (zazen, pranayama, kundalini, etc.) early in life and had the time of my life staring at empty walls.
- Sensitive - in some cases overly so: I used to have an extreme color sensitivity, to the point that I could wear only achromatic clothing for some periods of my life. Once I painted my walls black, another time - my hair (I am blond). Then I had white periods. I can be inexplicably sensitive to words and facial expressions as well.
- Risky - I can take and handle lots of risk for a specific reason. At the same time, I almost never feel adventurous, and in some areas I do not tolerate any risk at all.
- Decisive - I tend to make up my mind quickly and permanently, I do not look back with doubts, and I prevent myself from having regrets by ensuring that my process of making decisions is maximally all-factors-encompassing and minimally instinctual, and that I stay true to myself at all times.
- Lonely - somewhat, intellectually. Though I am willing to invest a lot in a friendship with a right person, I am able to keep only several close friendships long term. I spend lots of my time in solitude, but deep human connections are absolutely precious to me.
- Concentrated - I can easily focus on something of my choice for hours at a time. Sometimes I worked on projects for weeks, disregarding almost everything else.
- Intense - my brain demands stimulation, and even in silent introspection it is full of visual and conceptual activity. I take only few things for granted. I attempt to be quite honest, even if only in essence, after years practicing deep truthfulness and paying the price for such silliness. I still believe people deserve kind honesty. Interactions with both smart and kind people energize me more than anything.
- Where do you find meaning in your life?
- What are you capable of achieving?
- When do you feel truly alive?
- What is your passion?
- Whom do you love?
- Who are you?
- And now?
I was able to maintain relative fluency only in three languages at a time. Switching between more than that many is problematic for me. But at various times, I was fluent in five languages in total:
I love you. Я тебя люблю. Ich liebe dich. Я тебе кохаю. Te quiero.
Before five, I spoke mainly Ukrainian, but also Russian. By twelve, I spoke Spanish (reviving it at 27 did not help). I started with German in 1999, becoming fully fluent by twenty-eight, and my real English fluency started with 2010s.
In the past I tried to study French, Chinese, and Japanese - to read poetry and to improve my calligraphic stroke, but did not have enough time to achieve much.
This is a short, slightly disordered summary of my political views, in which I address in short the most commonly discussed political issues. So this is what I stand for:
- Environmental regulations should be significantly improved, deepened, and consistently enforced for the sake not only humanity, but most other forms of life, for preservation of large areas of wild habitat and stable ecosystems.
- Authority should be questioned: it requires free press, freedom of speech and expression.
- Internet service providers should not be allowed to manipulate the access.
- Pro-choice in the first 12-17 weeks, and pro-life after, unless there are significant risks to the woman's or potential child's well-being.
- Contraception should be available to everyone. Birth control, science-based sex education, and more social services should be provided to everyone to help reduce the number of abortions and to control the population growth, so that most of the children are desired and well cared for.
- Support mixed sex, same sex, and multiple partner marriages of any gender, if people are willing to take the risks of trust and responsibility and are willing to enter such civil contracts.
- Adoption rights should be determent by the children's well-being and be based on character and readiness of the potential parents. All future parents should be educated in best practices in child care and about brain development stages.
- Nobody should be physically disciplined, this includes spanking of any kind by caregivers.
- Recreational drugs should be legalized and controlled, the public should be informed about the consequences of the drug use, and the restrictions should be clearly and simply defined.
- What goes on in a private bedroom between consenting adults is no business of the state. Pornography, depicting consenting adults, should be legal for the adult population.
- Voluntary adult prostitution should be legal, with imposition of prophylactic healthcare.
- State and churches should be separated.
- Purchasing a gun should require licensing and training.
- A war should be permitted exclusively as an act of defense, similar to other offenses against life. Starting a warfare if not attacked should be treated as a mass murder or an attempt of such. The leader of a country should not be able to authorize military force against any other entity without congressional or similar approval.
- The military should not assassinate suspected terrorists in foreign countries.
- Police officers should wear body cameras.
- Against death penalty.
- Pro voluntary medically assisted euthanasia with a mandatory waiting period and upon a reasonable request.
- In criminal justice, rehabilitation should be more important than punishment.
- Convicted criminals should have the right to vote.
- Simplification of taxes, removing tax loopholes.
- Support for small business and entrepreneurialism.
- Universal base income for everyone instead of most welfare.
- Universal science based healthcare with a comprehensive preventative program.
- Governments should penalize businesses that mislead the public.
- Societies should invest more in science, sustainable technologies, and education based on critical thinking and creativity, than into militarization and unnecessary bureaucracy.
- Sustainability and innovation.
- Ethical treatment of sentient beings.
- For due process.
- For due diligence.
- Economic Left / Right: -4.88
- Social Libertarian / Authoritarian: -7.44
These are a few bits of curious information about me:
- I lived apart from my parents from 1 to 5, and was left alone a lot.
- As a child I refused to eat most things I was offered. I disliked ice-cream, but loved dark rye bread and many fruits.
- I started regular fasting at age 13, made it every Friday by 14, then tried 3 days monthly, then settled on something now called intermittent fasting, eating only 1-2 times a day.
- I sleep on hard surfaces like floors, garden furniture, and even tables. I started at 17 along with studying yoga, converted or made m own surfaces, used folded blankets and then yoga mats.
- I started investing in currencies and commodities after participating in a stock trade university game, I did not have access to stock trading.
- Many weekends of my 14th year of life I spent in a bathroom temporally converted into dark room to develop my SLR photographs on film. I lost all negatives.
- In music school, I played polyphony and sang it in a choir.
- In my early twenties I developed a 70-measurements system to make well-fitted elegant clothing. I made male suits and female dresses, attempted to organize production with local factories, and failed.
- In my late twenties I was writing a book on visual memory structuring, it became so complex, I still wonder it is worth finishing.
- In my thirties I designed a framework in object oriented PHP that produced meaningfully formatted content presentation based on keywords. It never found any implementation.
- I have not seen any member of my family of origin for over 12 years.
- Last ears before immigration I lived alone, with a heavy steal panel on my double door.
- I had a pepper spray with me at all times, and was lucky to never have a need to use it.
- After the first six years of immigration I went back to touch the ground, and did not feel at home.
- For all those years and much longer I always carried a card with a significantly modified Bushido code. I still have it.
- In my early twenties, I trained myself to visualize death as a young native American warrior behind my left shoulder - to appreciate time.
- During the same years, I increased the duration of my meditation on point to 30-40 minutes.
- When I experienced my first samadhi, I thought that nothing could top that. I was wrong.
To be continued...